The three poems that addresses the Family relationships include; Home Burial by Robert Frost, Daddy by Sylvia Plath and Home is so sad by Philip Larkin. The families presented in this poem are in constant conflicts due to misunderstandings. The misunderstandings in family relationships is as a result of one of the partners failing to understand the other feelings. These family relationships are distressing and some family members are left in anguish. This essay presents a contrast and correspondence in these poems that address the different conflicts that family relationships faces.
Home Burial By Robert Frost.
Home Burial is a family relationship poem written by Robert Frost. This poem clearly presents instances of stimulating dialogue in a stressed relationship between wife and husband. The wife lost a child, and she is distressed after having the sight of her child's grave through the window. Her husband's fails to immediately determine the cause of her distresses and this hurts her most. The wife blames the husband for being hard-hearted even after them losing a child.
This makes her resent the husband deeply as a result of his composure. She lets out her anger and frustrations. However, the husbands' attempts to soothe her and make her feel esteemed but the differences continues to escalate. As she tries to live, the husband calls after her and begs her to stay. This is dramatic poem similar to a traditional poem where scenes are presented in a continuous way and employ mainly dialogue rather than narration.
The content of the poem is emotional as it presents the strained relationship in a family setting. The use of imagery in the poem can enable one imagine two actors on a stage acting the charged scene and portraying this brief. Home burial is a poem full of grief with tragedies that befalls a young family. The main tragedy in the poem is the death of a child which forms a basis of the narration. The other tragedy is foreshadowed in the poem, and that is the collapse of marriage.
The wife and husband in the poem signify two different ways of grieving. The woman is consumed with grief, and every part of her is infused with sorrow. The grief takes long to end, and she does not accept the loss that she has encountered. On the other hand, the husband has taken the loss of the child. As time passes by his grief is washed away and his outward expression of grief was entirely different from that of his wife. He takes the task of digging the grave for the child and did not leave the undertaking of burial to someone else.
The wife stands at the stairs while the rural husband stands at the end of the stairs. The heartbreak of their child's death causes them to be in a different situation regarding dealing with their grief. The wife is still struggling with the sadness of losing her baby. The pain changes her, and she accuses her husband of pretense. The husband is a farmer, and he has learned to accept the natural cycle of death and life. The wife ultimately fails to understand his expression of grief and perceives his behavior as an indication of his cold-hearted apathy.
The poet presents the death of a relationship as a result of the death of a child. The break up in this family is mainly fuelled by misunderstandings and poor communication between the husband and wife. It is hard for the husband to convince the wife to stay because of the immense grief that engulfed her. The poem shows communication in their marriage has been largely unsuccessful.
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Daddy by Sylvia Plath
Daddy is a family relationship poem written by Sylvia Plath's. The poet describes the relationship with her father. There is also a description of Plaths process of accepting her father's looming figure. Her father he died while she was eight, therefore she never had the chance if being with her for a long time. She regards herself a victim and compares her father to a vampire, and a devil. From her words, it is clear that she fiercely hated his dad, but at the same time, she passionately loved him. The love came when she was young and adored her father so much and the obsession to love and be loved.
On the other hand, the hate for his dad was as a result of deep rooted fear that she had toward her father. The speaker becomes confined in her childhood since she missed the opportunity to outgrow her father's dominion. This poem presents a deep-rooted grudge that is present in the family. The grudge significantly influences the speaker's life, and she becomes hateful. The words that she used to describe her father shifts between being awe-filled and spiteful. This portrays the speaker's confused feelings between hate and love.
Therefore, the death of her father during the childhood years worsens her conflicting feelings for him. The confusion that emerges from the father's death disturbs her and causes her to face years of anguish and pain. It reaches a point where the Plath likens the relationship with his father to that of a Nazi and a Jew during the World War II. The father becomes the tormentor, and she becomes a victim. Her hatred of her father increases because of her incapability to be at liberty from her father's torment.
She clearly remembers the treatment that she underwent at the hands of her father. The speaker tries very means to destroy her father's influence on her life. She even attempts to commit suicide as a way to end the suffering and to be with her father. From the expression the speaker direly wants her father to the extent that she is even ready to die so that she can be with him. However, her attempt to commit suicide fails and she come up with plans to avoid her father's domination.
Eventually, the speaker marries a man who bears a resemblance to her father. Unfortunately, the relationship with the husband is just the same as the relationship with her father. Despite this, she accepts to be dominated by this man who greatly resembles her father. The speaker says that the man she married shared many characteristics with her late father. The relationship looks like she has wedded her father. This clearly exemplifies how the speaker has restructured her late father in the image of her husband. When she abandons her husband after seven years, she gets a feeling that she had left her dad behind. Throughout the poem, the poet struggles to resolve the contradictory feelings over her dominating father who unfortunately she never got the opportunity to outgrow.
Home is so sad by Philip Larkin
"Home is so sad" is a short poem by Philip Larkin. This is a sad poem, and the reader is given the full emotion. The poet says that home has become lonely and sad because there is no one else left at home. It has only remained a building where people just reside. This is because, in this home, people no longer love and care for each other. Disagreement and conflicts have left the family with much sadness and desolation. The imagery used in the poem illustrates that someone left the house and nothing has been removed.
There is no alteration of things in the house only because no one wants to erase the memory of the person who is no longer there. However, Larkin says that there is still hope that the individual who has left the family will return. There is hope that the person will come back and fill the emptiness that is now vacated. The people left at home are now hopeless, and the poet implies that they should endure the absence of that person. The fact that home has remained unchanged may give the hope to win back the person who has left.
The tone of this poem is also that of sadness, depression, and grief. It is clear that there is someone who has left the family probably due to conflicts. The poet does not reveal who the person is, but it is evident that the person who has left the person is the pillar of the family and everyone depends on him or her in one way or another.
Contrast and correspondence between the three poems
There are similarities and differences in the three poems. For instance, Frost's and Plath's poems are similar in that they are terrifying and powerful poems that describe love and hate. Moreover, they both present the psychological torture that can destroy a person's life. Although the two poems are quite a difference, because each presents conflicts in different family settings. The misunderstandings in the family are what is seen to cause enmity between the members of the family ("Home Burial"). Another similarity is, in Frost's poem, the break up between the wife and husband resulted from the grief of losing the child which was further fuelled by differences in grieving patterns. Similarly, in Larkins poem, conflicts causes a member of the family to leave. In both poems, the main cause of conflicts is misunderstanding since the members of the family failed to understand each other.
On the other hand, in Plath's poem misunderstanding is also one of the leading causes of conflict between the family members. The speaker has mixed feelings about her father, and she struggles to outgrow his dominance in her life. Another similarities in the poems is strained relationship. For example, Plaths strained relationship with her father haunts her even in marriage, and she sees that her husbands embody her late father since they share similar characteristics ("Daddy"). On the other hand, Frosts poem shows how the wife and husband conflicted due to the loss of their child. These poems depict the struggles that the family members go through to come to terms with each other. Communication is also a significant part of a family and can help to enhance relationships. This is because the major problems illustrated in the two poems is clearly the lack of proper communication.
In Frost's poem, the husband tries to convince her wife to stay, but since they have not been having good communication, it becomes difficult for the wife to listen to her. While in Larkins poem, the other members of the family are hopeful that the one who had left will eventually come back. On the other hand, Plath's poem gives a clear indication of effects of poor communication. Since the speaker never heard enough time with her father, it was hard to understand him fully in person that's why her father's dominance haunts her for a long time. The main similarity in the poems is that they depict the feelings of depression, fear, anger, and sadness. This is clearly projected by the language use, metaphors, imagery and poetic meter.
In Frost's poem, the husband tries to convince her wife to stay, but since they have not been having good communication, it becomes difficult for the wife to listen to her. While in Larkins poem, the other members of the family are hopeful that the one who had left will eventually come back (Larkin). On the other hand, Plath's poem gives a clear indication of effects of poor communication. Since the speaker never heard enough time with her father, it was hard to understand him fully in person that's why her father's dominance haunts her for a long time. The main similarity in the poems is that they depict the feelings of depression, fear, anger, and sadness. It is clearly projected by the language use, metaphors, imagery and poetic meter.
These three poems have clearly illustrated different family relationships. The similar features in these poems are that the family relationships has been faced with numerous difficulties that have caused depression, sadness, anguish, and suffering. Moreover, there are no practical ways in which the problems in the family relationships has been solved. Therefore, it implies that the major problems faced in these families have been as a result of lack of proper communication which has led to misunderstandings between the members of the family. The poems have also used dark imagery to portray the sadness, which has been present in the different families.